


Five out of five stars

by SugdenLovesDingle



Series: Tumblr prompts [12]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Faith sells sextoys, M/M, because of course she does
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-23 00:43:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23469706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugdenLovesDingle/pseuds/SugdenLovesDingle
Summary: Faith tries to sell sex toys in the pub
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Series: Tumblr prompts [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1607773
Comments: 10
Kudos: 72





	Five out of five stars

“But it’ll be good for business, love. It’ll really put this place on the map.”

“It doesn’t need putting on the map, it’s fine the way it is.”

“You could promote it online. Facebook! Everybody is on Facebook these days, right?” Faith asked.

“Yes, mother.” Chas was getting fed up with the conversation. “But I am not letting you sell… toys in my pub! it’s a health and safety risk!”

“They’re not used!” She put her wheely case on a table and zipped it open. “Look they’re still in the box.”

“I don’t care. Not in my pub.”

“Why don’t you try one? For free. See how you like it.” Faith said and opened a box and produced a bright pink vibrator. “This one is really popular, you know.”

“I’m sure it is. But I’m good, thanks.”

“Oh hello, what’s this?” Priya asked, seeing the toy on the bar as she walked up to order. She grabbed the vibrator to take a good look at it. “Are you serving more than just drinks now Chas?”

“No, it’s my mother’s latest money making scheme. She thinks she’s going to sell them in my pub but she’s most definitely not.”

“That’s one of the best sellers. I can give you mates rates if you want. Buy one, get the second one half price. Or maybe something for him too? Lots of couples use toys these days.”

“What would you know about that?” Chas asked.

“It’s common knowledge. And part of my training.”

“You trained for this?”

“Yes. Of course. Just so I can help everyone to the best of my abilities.” Faith said and turned back to Priya. “What do you think? The offer is only valid for a limited time.”

“Yeah… I’ll think about it…” she put the toy back on the bar and Chas sighed before taking Priya’s drinks order.

A few minutes later Robert walked in, surprisingly without Aaron.

“All alone today?” Chas asked.

“Aaron’s meeting me in here but he’s running late I suppose.” Robert explained and sat down at the bar.

“How about you get him a little surprise before he gets here?” Faith suggested, clinging onto Robert’s arm for dear life. “You know, something you both can enjoy. Together.”

Robert frowned.

“What are you talking about?”

“You don’t want to know.” Chas pinched the bridge of her nose.

“One second.” Faith said happily and let go of Robert’s arm to grab something from her case. “I have a large range for His Pleasure too.” she called over her shoulder.

“You what?”

“This is one of the popular ones.” She put a large black dildo on the bar. “Or this.” She put another toy on the bar. “This bit goes… inside…” She winked at Robert. “And it vibrates for ultimate pleasure and stimulation.” she turned the toy on for good measure. “It comes with a remote too, to set the mood before the actual event.”

“Right…”

“Why don’t you give it a try? I’ll let you have this for free if you buy another one later on.”

“What makes you think we’d be interested in any of this?”

“Oh come on, you’re young lads, newly-weds, lots of pent up sexual energy.”

Robert laughed.

“We’re fine, trust me.”

“What about your friends? I have a lot of things that are popular in the gay community, you know? You could invite some of them and we can have a party with a demonstration and everything!”

“A sex toy party?”

“Yes! Just like those make up and Tupperware parties!” Faith said, getting excited.

“Right… and where would you have that party then?”

“Here!”

“No, no you’re not.” Chas cut in. “I’m not having this in my pub.”

“You’re not having what in your pub?” Aaron asked as he sat down next to Robert after greeting him with a kiss. None of them had noticed him coming in.

“This.” Robert turned around to grab the dildo from the bar and playfully shoved it in Aaron’s face.

“Ugh get off.” he grabbed the dildo to make Robert stop waving it in his face. “What the hell is this?” he pulled a face when he saw what he was holding and threw it onto a nearby table.

Faith laughed.

“I thought you’d know that, love. Robert was just saying how you two would like to buy some of these things to try spice things up in the bedroom.”

Aaron glared at Robert.

“I did not say that!” he protested. “I said we’re fine. Which we are. I have absolutely no complaints.” he assured Aaron.

“Yes but is fine good enough? Don’t you want something more than just fine? I can make that happen. Just take a look in my case. There’s a whole separate line for the gay community.” Faith tried.

“I don’t think so.” Aaron said and turned around to order a drink from his mum.

“Your Robert just suggested a party. At yours. So I can sell some of these to your friends.” Faith said, trying to get Aaron’s attention.

“I did not say that! Stop putting words in my mouth!” Robert protested.

“You are not selling those things from our place.” Aaron told her.

“And not in my pub. So you’re going to have to find someone else to pull into your little scam.” Chas said, a smug smile on her face.

“It’s not a scam. It’s a legitimate business opportunity!” Faith protested and turned to Robert. “If you let me have it at yours we’ll split the profits 50/50.”

“50/50? Are you mad? You use our house, and our friends and get 50%? No. 70/30.” Robert said and Faith sputtered in shock.

“Did you just offer her our house?” Aaron asked, glaring at his husband.

“It’s just business. And a chance for us to make some extra cash. For the baby.”

“I’ll give you 55% and a freebie of your choice.” Faith tried.

“Absolutely not.” Robert replied, putting his hand on Aaron’s knee to keep him calm. “70/30 is my final offer.”

“But what about this one?” Faith grabbed the dildo from earlier. “I have lots of different sizes. And I have all kinds of different lubricants.” she handed Aaron a flyer, who ignored it and threw it onto the bar. “We’re not interested.” he said while Robert studied the flyer.

“Look. This one.” Robert said softly, trying to get Aaron to look at something in the flyer. “That could be fun.”

Aaron gave him an incredulous look.

“Are you serious?”

“Just… It can’t hurt to take a look right?”

Aaron shook his head.

“What happened to we’re fine?”

“We are.” Robert insisted. “But well… it’s there… and we can get a freebie. We could try it.”

“Are you mad? No.”

“Why not? We’ve talked about it.”

“Come on love, don’t knock it ‘till you tried it.”

Aaron glared at her.

“You really aren’t part of this conversation.” He said and turned back to Robert. “We’re not buying that.”

“Why not? I think I’d like to try it.” Robert admitted.

“If you buy it from my gran, you can try it alone.” Aaron snapped and Robert decided to drop the subject.

In the end, Faith managed to convince Charity to let her have a party at Jacob’s Fold, and when Robert got home early a few days later, he found a bag from Hotten Horny on their bed.

“I did some shopping.” Aaron said as he came out of the shower, towel wrapped around his waist.

Robert looked inside the bag and saw the toy he’d shown Aaron in the pub.

“But… I thought you didn’t want to?”

“I didn’t say that. I just didn’t want my mum and my gran to know exactly what we were up to.”

Aaron started taking off Robert’s tie and undoing his shirt buttons.

“Liv’s promised to clear off for the next couple of hours and Seb is at the farm with Moira and Isaac…” he trailed off

“So we’re alone?” Robert bit his lip, enjoying the sight of his half naked husband and his hands on his bare chest.

Aaron nodded.

“Just you, me, and five out of five stars.”


End file.
